Confessions from a Reforming Control Freak

Ah, yes. God works with me in many ways by having children. And I would have it no other way. It is good for me to admit, even now, that I can be somewhat of a control freak given the right opportunity. The Before 50 person within me was truly a controlling person. Marrying late, I was used to things the way they were "supposed to be" and felt the need to keep controlling. Sharing my life and my "control" with God first of all and then a husband has been an ongoing process that has good days and tough ones. We have babies and what am I tempted to do? Control..when they eat, when they sleep, even upon potty training, what happens? I'm trying to control when they "go!" I had a blank slate of 2 people to control! God has worked hard with me, but as my daughters have become teens, the lessons are there and waiting to happen.

My "inner control freak" wants to tell my daughters at times "you should wear your hair a different way, it will be prettier." There is nothing wrong with it, just possible they may look back and say "oh, it would have looked better this way." What woman, especially, does not look back at teen pictures of ours and think that? But no, the controlling person comes out and rears its head. Age-appropriate decisions. That is what I need to remember. I need to guide them, nudge them gently, and not control. Two daughters, two different personalities. Now growing into wonderful young ladies. I am truly blessed. Every situation seems to be a teaching opportunity. I cannot put them in the playpen if I'm stressed and give them some toys for awhile and control the circumstances. Work, guide, and communicate. If they learn a lesson the hard way, I must remind myself, "who hasn't?" and let them learn the lesson within the structure of home for now.

A well-meaning person? Yes. But controlling is not the way I need to show it. I must be there for them, guide them in Godly principles, and make sure that is a top priority. My children are a work in progress, and I often tell them they're "not done cookin' yet." I am too, and prayerfully am just ahead of them enough to be the example they need to see, guidingem, and knowingt to pull the reins too tight, using God as my example. Every day has to have time for this, time that cannot be scheduled. It is seen and the teaching moments are ours, a gift from God. They cannot be controlled, organized, but are some of the best parts of our day.